Thailand Phuket hot spots. The best beaches in Phuket. General review. Tours to Phuket

When you're done sunbathing and swimming on Phuket's beaches, you'll probably want to take a shower and see what else Phuket has to offer after sunset. Apart from the beaches, the main attractions of Phuket are the entertainment. There is a lot of evening entertainment here. Let's get acquainted with the most popular of them.

Although the island of Phuket does not have as many places for evening entertainment as Pattaya, you will certainly not die of boredom here.

Sights of Phuket.

By far the most popular attraction in Phuket in the evening is the famous Simon's Cabaret.

Simon's Cabaret

A brilliant performance from Simon's Cabaret. It is one of the most famous evening shows in Phuket. Among entertainment in Thailand (non-sexual) it rightfully occupies one of the first places. The actors in the play are transvestites (ladyboy in English or katoy in Thai).

Simon Cabaret is one of the highest quality and most beautiful shows on the island of Phuket. This is an amazing extravaganza of traditional Thai songs, Latin American rhythms, Egyptian-style performances, and great comedy numbers with European and American hits.

You will see a show performed at a very high level with very high-quality choreography and its own stage concept. You will certainly enjoy exciting stunts, complex and beautiful costumes that even Elton John would consider it better to keep away. Despite what you might think, these shows aren't that gay, you won't see any sexual or suggestive scenes here, so you can't expect any embarrassing conversations with kids if they come with you.

Modern lighting, high-quality sound and high performing skills of the artists will not allow one to doubt the high status of this establishment. All the actors are more women than men - there is so much beauty and grace in them, but in fact, each of them is a transvestite. More than once during this unusual performance you will be surprised and wonder how opposites can be united.

The only thing they take very seriously is people trying to take photos or video inside the theater.

Staff watch the audience at all times, looking for any means of video recording. And if they notice, you will be politely but very persistently asked to stop filming immediately.
After the end of the performance, the actors come out to the audience to communicate, and also so that you can take photographs with any of them outside the theater walls. However, expect to pay a tip of 20 baht or more.

This is a very fun way to spend an evening at a very reasonable price. The difference between the prices for VIP seats and regular seats is not noticeable at all, so it’s worth paying the extra couple of baht and sitting in the front row.

Also note that there are no intermissions. And you can't bring food or drinks inside. A small bottle of water is provided, but you'll want to make sure you eat something to avoid a rumbling stomach mid-performance.

Muay Thai (Bangla boxing stadium)

Another very popular entertainment and attraction of Phuket is Thai boxing. "If you've seen Muay Thai, you've seen Thailand." So say the loudspeakers attached to small trucks driving around Patong. And although it may not seem quite right for the Land of Smiles for two people to beat the hell out of each other, Muay Thai occupies a definite and very significant place among the national entertainments in Thailand and is definitely worth a visit during the holiday.

Of the two boxing stadiums in Patong, Bangla Stadium is the newer and has more affordable entry tickets. It's located at the end of the Jungceylon shopping center and you can't miss it: just look at the huge posters of fighters plastered all over the streets. And although repeated radio announcements talk about the promise of a "BigFight!" with a "champofthechamps!", in reality the "BigFight" at the Bangla Boxing Stadium takes place almost every night.

Children, women and men take a fighting stance against each other. And imagine, the battles are all real, without imitations. On a typical night you will see 10 fights, starting with small 10 year old fighters fighting, then continuing with 20 and then 30 year old fighters fighting. Betting is allowed at the fights, so look for the person waving money if you suddenly want to place a bet.

Beer and snacks are sold at the stadium, but you can easily sneak food in your backpack. And since the night battles last for three hours, starting at 21.00 and ending at midnight, you will most likely need something to refresh yourself. If you want to get only to the peak of the program, that is, to the most interesting fights of the most experienced fighters, we advise you to arrive at 22.30, because sitting from the very beginning to the end of the spectacle can be very exhausting - even if you are not personally in the ring. The climax of the battles begins at 23.15, so it is at this time that you need to prepare in order to fully enjoy the spectacle.

You can purchase tickets for premium seats if you want to be closer to the spectacle. From other places you will also see everything clearly, remaining clean from drops of sweat and blood of the fighters.

Phuket FantaSea

When listing the best attractions of Phuket, one cannot ignore one more thing. Phuket FantaSea Park is located in the west of Phuket Island. The park is divided into 3 parts. The most popular among visitors is the elephant show. If you are planning to attend an elephant show, we highly recommend that you arrive at least an hour and a half before the show, since in addition to this wonderful spectacle, there is still something to see in the park.

1. Festival Village, where there are many shops and stalls where you can buy souvenirs made by Thai craftsmen.
For children, there is a cave of Hanuman (Hanuman’s Lair) - the god of monkeys. Many surprises and games await young visitors there. Walking through the park, you will definitely notice a small but very beautiful lake with a waterfall in which many goldfish swim. Here you can take a photo as a souvenir, and feed the fish with special food, which is sold here.

Parents can take a break in the open-air restaurant Kamala Pier beer garden - there is beer and light snacks, and music is playing. It is in this part of the park that various holidays, festivals, and festive processions take place. In this same part of the park, if you arrive well before the elephant show, it will be especially exciting to see the only zoo in Thailand with albino animals.

Nowhere in the world are there so many white animals and birds collected in one place. Inside the zoo, everything is done in white, as if in the kingdom of the Snow Queen. At the entrance you are greeted by a huge white bird. She's not real. But you can’t tell at first glance, because she flaps her wings and moves her tail.

Here, white tigers live in glass enclosures, crows and parrots sit on branches, snakes crawl, frogs croak, rats and mice run around, and everything is absolutely white, even the crows. And at the exit there are little baby elephants (natural gray in color) waiting for you, with whom you can take a photo for an additional fee.

2. Golden Kinnaree Restaurant— located near the Blue Lake. The menu of this restaurant is famous for its cuisine: it offers exquisite Thai cuisine, signature dishes of European Italian, Indian and Japanese cuisine. The restaurant can accommodate 4,000 visitors. The decoration of the restaurant is impressive: it is really all gilded. Mythical creatures - half women, half birds - look after visitors everywhere, and the restaurant is named after them.

3. Elephant Palace, where the elephant show takes place and which is the main attraction of FantaSea. The Elephant Palace is all about elephants: elephant statues, elephant rides and, of course, elephant shows. Elephants dance and participate in various performances. The Elephant Palace leaves a mixed feeling - it's like a combination of Las Vegas and Disneyland with costumed dancers, games, shooting galleries, non-stop music and laser lights and fireworks sparkling with all the colors of the rainbow.

Of the three places listed above, the Elephant Palace is definitely the most suitable place to bring back-eaters with you.

Feel free to take photos outside the main theater, but you will be warned that all recording devices (i.e. smartphones, cameras, etc.) must be surrendered at the entrance to the palace. At the end of the performance, things will, of course, be returned, and if you wish, you can buy a video disc with a recording of the show program.
If you have time, it's worth arriving an hour or two before the show itself, which lasts about 80 minutes, to grab something to eat and enjoy everything outside the palace, which is the first two parts of the park.

But try to get to the entrance to the Elephant Palace a little early, because right before the start of the show there is usually a fairly large queue of latecomers - a real crush.

The show itself consists of performances by various artists entertaining the audience with a fairy tale about the “magical” elephant king. They do this by using acrobatics, shadow theatre, and pyrotechnics performances to attract the attention of even those children and teenagers who seem unable to tear themselves away from playing games on their phone, console or other device. But mostly everyone comes to see the magnificent ancient animals - elephants.
If you stay in the park until late in the evening, you can still see the water show of singing fountains.

And if, at the same time as the elephant show, you want to eat enough to resemble the size of a pachyderm animal (such as an elephant or a rhinoceros) - a buffet is available to you for an additional 400 baht per adult and 200 baht per child. The park is located 10 km from. You can contact PhuketFantasea if you would like them to fly you (for a fee). Or you can rent a motorcycle and come yourself, or take a taxi or tuk tuk cart - a three-wheeled motorcycle used in Thailand as a taxi that will take you to the place at a ridiculous price (about 500-700 baht) .

Having fun in the go-go bars of Phuket.

Those who don’t know about Bangla Road don’t know about Phuket! Bangla Road in Phuket is the same as Walking Street in Pattaya. Here, in the center of Patong, on Bangla Road, the main “strawberry” establishments of the island of Phuket are located: salons, go-go bars, beer pubs, discos and clubs. Of course, this is one of the attractions of Phuket.

Both sides of the street are lined with small and large bars, where tourists are given the opportunity to see a variety of sex shows, including shows with ping-pong balls, darts, etc. Most of the bars on this street offer not only sex shows, but also live music.

For example, the Timber Hut (Timber n Rock) pub on Yawaraj Road hosts concerts from local rock bands. By midnight there are a lot of people here: both locals and tourists gather at the club. In the gallery opposite the Phuket Garden Hotel there is another club - The Kon Thai. Attracts with good national music and well-known hits.

In the evenings, almost the entire population of the island hangs out here: many go to Bangla Road in order to find “carrots” (as Thai “girls for pick-up” are called), while others go to the main street of Phuket just to relax and wander around in search of interesting photos. There are also sports bars on Bangla Road where major matches are broadcast.

Disco clubs such as Tiger, Tai Pan, VIP and Banana do not actively participate in the development of the island's sex industry. However, if necessary, you can find “free” girls here too.

Visiting go-go bars in Phuket is easy. It is necessary to look for signs that say “Go-Go”, and also pay attention to the design of such clubs. These are usually heavy curtains and tinted doors. Usually such establishments open no earlier than nine in the evening. Sometimes there are girls standing near bars, luring customers into the bar. As a rule, there is no entrance fee, but when visiting the bar, you need to purchase a drink that is not the cheapest.

After ten in the evening the main performance begins: half-naked girls dance. Most often they are Thai, but there are also girls with European features. A little later, the “ping pong show” begins, a show where the girl’s main weapon is her genitals. With this very organ, a Thai girl easily smokes a cigarette with long puffs and drinks a bottle of juice through a straw. But that's not all the possibilities - this place is quite possible to paint a picture and, of course, juggle tennis balls. This, as you understand, is where the name of this show comes from.

The highlight of the “ping pong show” is the trick with darts: it is “there” that the tube is inserted into which the dart is inserted. After this, the girl begins to shoot balloons hanging around the hall. The main thing is to have time to bend down and cover your face at this moment. And you never know... There are also elements of dangerous acrobatics in this show - a bunch of razor blades about five meters long are removed from the reproductive organ!

The girls demonstrate such tricks ten times throughout the night, attracting visitors to the go-go bars. The entire show takes place on a catwalk, obviously so that all visitors can better see the girls' skills. There are bar stools right in front of the stage for the most curious visitors. The shows are replaced by fashion shows of girls “for the purpose of filming.” Girls don’t just stand, as a rule, they dance, showing off all their charms. Each of them has a number to make it easier for those who decide to agree on payment with the “mamasan” - the pimp.

Then the couple retires to a room on the second floor or to a hotel (but to take the girl away from the bar, you need to pay a lot). By the way, you don’t always have to pay to get to the ping-pong show. There are both paid and free “balloon shows” in Phuket Town.

Bars often give out programs where you can view a list of shows.

So that you don’t have to wander the streets of Patong at night, here is a list of the most popular go-go bars in Phuket.

Go-go bar The Secret

Located at the end of Soi Easy. This is quite an old place in Patong where you can find shows with naked girls and all sorts of things like ping pong balls. Entrance to the bar is paid, the price varies depending on the number of visitors and the time of visiting this bar.

The central stage is surrounded by tables and chairs where visitors to this establishment are seated. Immediately upon entering the bar you will be greeted by a bar employee who will offer a standard selection of drinks or several girls for a pleasant time. About three or four times a night, The Secret bar hosts colorful shows featuring pretty girls. As a rule, the time and program of the show can be found at the entrance, on the information sheet, on the door. The shows feature well-choreographed performances and, of course, amazing stunts using the reproductive organs. Despite the slightly higher price, The Secret bar is worth visiting more than once. The establishment is open from 22.00 to 02.00. You can find The Secret bar at Soi Easy, near the Hollywood Disco club (Bangla Road).

Go-go bar Suzy Wong (I & II)

Suzy Wong Bar is better known as Ass Smacking Fun. This bar with a rather funny name is located at the end of Soi Seadragon. Here you can find many girls without any complexes who will gladly “spank” a client. But the clients themselves are allowed to spank the girls, using a soapy baton that makes a loud, original sound. All this is not painful at all, but, on the contrary, quite fun. Entrance to the Suzy Wong bar is completely free, but you must order a drink when visiting the establishment. If the bar is crowded, you can head to Suzy Wong II, located on the other side of Seadragon Street. The establishment is open from 22.00 to 02.00.

Go-go bar Devil's Playground

A distinctive feature of the Devil’s Playground bar is its sophisticated and attractive design. The entrance to the bar resembles a castle, and the halls resemble hellish hells. Devil's Playground bar is several times better than other similar establishments in Patong. There is not just one hall, but even several floors with dancing half-naked girls. The girls themselves are also divided into two groups: the devil's team includes girls with red glowing horns, and the light forces' team includes girls with small white wings. Moreover, the devil's retinue definitely looks more attractive. Entry price is 120 - 140 baht for the first drink. Lesbian shows are often held here. You can find the bar at soi SeaDragon.

Finding this bar will not be difficult: thanks to the large neon advertisement for Baccarat, you can see it right at the entrance on Bangla Road. Bar Baccarat is located on the 3rd floor of the Green Devil’s building. You can get to the top by a large but slow elevator, or by taking the stairs.

Baccarat is a small but very cozy establishment. The small Baccarat stage is surrounded by several tables. There are only two poles on the stage. The obvious highlight of this bar is the large bathtub surrounded by sofas. It is located in the corner of the establishment. Here, for just 500 baht, you can watch one or more girls take a bubble bath. Entrance to the bar is free, but you must purchase a drink (usually about 130 baht per glass of beer).

Go-go bar Roxy

One of the largest go-go bars on Bangla Road. The Roxy's two levels house two stages. The main area has a high ceiling and a circular stage with several poles and a row of sofas lined up along the wall. The other hall is smaller and has a small stage. The two halls are connected by a staircase. The girls are divided into two groups: those who work near the poles, and those who dance near them. As a rule, eyes are drawn to what is on stage. A little later, closer to midnight, the girls begin to perform acrobatic acts that take the customers’ breath away. Sometimes, for greater effect, bar clients are invited to take part in the show on stage. Shows are held at regular intervals. You can find the Roxy bar on soi Vegas.

Go-go bar Diablo

This is a very small bar compared to other similar establishments. The rather small stage can accommodate a maximum of four girls. A distinctive feature of this bar is the numerous shows that take place within the walls of Diablo. These are soap games, dancing with torches and so on. Entrance to Diablo Bar is completely free, drinks start from 120 baht. You can find Diablo Bar on Soi Seadragon.

Go-go bar Play School

This is an old establishment, opened in Phuket about twenty years ago. Over the years, there have not been any drastic changes in this bar, except that the girls have not portrayed schoolgirls for a long time. In general, the Play School bar is no different from similar establishments. This bar's small stage is equipped with several poles, like most bars in Patong. The cost of drinks at the bar is 120 baht on average. The entrance is free. The slightly shocking shows of this bar remained the same: pulling out a toad, an eel and five-meter strings studded with needles. Overall, it's a pretty friendly but unchanged go-go bar. Play School is located on Soi Seadragon.

Go-go bar Exotica

Bar Exotica has spacious rooms, light colors in the interior design and a few pretty girls. On the central stage there is a bathroom, where the girls frolic with pleasure. There are also four poles on which eight scantily clad girls are spinning.

Lesbian shows are often held here with the participation of far from lesbian-oriented ladies. Here you can find girls for every taste: thin, curvy and even slightly plump. Tall girls with straight and long legs are not girls, but katoi. You can find this bar on Soi Seadragon.

Russian go-go bar Moulin Rouge

An establishment with free entry, but a fairly high cost of drinks, which starts from 250 baht. On the large stage of the bar there are two poles where Russian girls dance. As a rule, all the girls are fit, slender and tanned, in general, not inferior to Thai girls. Apparently this is the only bar in Patong where you can find dancing blondes. You can find the Moulin Rouge bar on Soi Vegas.

Go-go bar Money Night

One of the old bars in Patong. Money Night is a spacious and rather old-fashioned go-go bar in Phuket. Entrance to the bar is free, but the prices for drinks are prohibitively high; for example, a can of beer can be purchased here for 800 baht. This is one of the most expensive establishments in its field. Maybe because amazing “snake shows” take place here. Money Night Bar is located on Soi Vegas.

Go-go playboy bar

A small, standard bar, where girls with different shapes come out onto a square stage with a sofa next to it and dance, occasionally showing the usual ping-pong shows.

Bar House of Sound

A small room with a long stage located in the center of the hall. The House of Sound bar offers a standard show program with the participation of girls. Entry to the bar is free, but be sure to order a drink when you visit. The program of the show includes tricks with the classic “blowing a whistle”, a rather skilled show with “popping a balloon”, accompanied by the flight of a “small bird”. Fish shows are often held. The atmosphere is relaxed and friendly, but the show program is a bit short. You can find the House of Sound bar on Soi Seadragon.

Go-go bar Penitentiary Bar

Located on Soi Tiger. Penitentiary Bar is a very fun place where you can find some pretty barmaids and a lot of beautiful dancers.

Go-go bar Pat Tai

Located at the end of Bangla Road. Every night there are mind-blowing shows, as well as standard tricks with pulling out frogs, hamsters, parrots and other living creatures.

Some additional information about entertainment in Phuket nightlife:

Most establishments do not charge entry fees, but the purchase of a drink is required. Prices are most often not too high. Girls are not expected to tip, but you are required to take a drink for the lady. Small gifts are allowed; the best time for gifts is when the girls go around the tables after the shows.

Most often, bills are presented at the end, but there are places where they ask for payment right away.

In some bars the show program is stable, in others the shows move from one bar to another. So if you visit several bars, you can see the same show several times.

In some bars, the show begins only if there is a certain number of spectators. The interval between shows may vary and depends on the establishment.

The screening may not take place if there are men of Thai nationality in the hall, who are most often representatives of the law.

Other nightlife attractions in Phuket

No less interesting are the Phuket night markets (night food market). One of these is located near the Robinson`s department store. If you are hungry and still want comfort, you can head to one of the many restaurants in Phuket. Have a great romantic Thai dinner accompanied by pleasant music. One of the establishments where you can not only eat, but also enjoy life, is the Kajok See restaurant on Takuapha Road.

Some massage parlors are also open at night. For example, “Pearl Massage”, at the Pearl Hotel, on Montri Road. Or the Grand Plaza Massage, located at the Thavorn Grand Plaza Hotel. You can get to this Phuket massage parlor by walking along Tilok Uthit Road. By the way, this street of Phuket Town is a very popular place where you can find all erotic massage services (body massage). You will receive a traditional Thai massage in the salon at the Daeng Plaza Hotel, located on Phuket Road.

As you can see, there is a lot of entertainment in Phuket, you will not be bored.

If you are in Pattaya.

In contact with

The first thing that needs to be said about these beer establishments is that people go to them not so much to drink beer, but to meet local girls. The girls working in these bars are never against such acquaintances, and, at a minimum, will not refuse to drink beer with foreigners, at their expense, of course.

It is worth noting that these beer bar dwellers, as a rule, speak reasonable English, and since they are young, spontaneous, curious and often quite beautiful, even a simple conversation with them can easily dispel the occasional boredom.

If your interest in girls extends beyond just conversations, the girl you like will not be surprised by such a development of events, and everything that happens next will depend solely on you. You can invite a girl to a restaurant or to a disco, and generally play in love. Or you can simply explain to the girl in plain text what exactly you want from her. The desires you expressed to the girl, at the same time, certainly do not shock, if only for the reason that these girls have seen a lot in their lives, and with a high degree of probability, they have seen much more than you.

If you choose the second scenario, the question of money will naturally arise. There is no general rule here, however, if you do not want to bore the girl with your presence for a long time, the amount will revolve around 1000-1500 baht. And if you want to spend the whole night with a girl, the figure will be from 2000 to 3000 baht.

In the case of the first option, there may not be a conversation about money, however, it does not follow from this that the girl can not be given money at all. You need to understand well that girls sit in bars not at all to kill time, but to earn a living. And the financial side of relationships with them should be taken seriously, since angry Thai girls can cause a lot of trouble. And it's not a joke. In any case, these troubles, in the form of a scratched face and the very likely appearance of the police, will be much more serious than the disputed amount of 1000/2000 baht.

But what about sex for love, you ask, after reading what was written above.

It is quite possible if you can make a strong enough impression on a local girl so that she, at least for a while, forgets about money. And, besides this, explain to her in plain text that you are not going to give money. And explain this to her before, not after.

What is written here may seem overly cynical, but in fact, when talking with a girl, it is not so difficult to find suitable and decent words in order to unobtrusively put all the dots on the money issue.

It is worth noting that for many European tourists, promoting local girls for free sex is something of a sport. The author of these lines has repeatedly observed Anglo-Saxons walking around the rows of girls with phrases like “I’m poor student, blah-blah-blah,” and, characteristically, with a positive result. However, this sport also has its disadvantages. If a girl is good-looking, she will happily laugh at such a joke, exchange a few phrases with the poor student, and remain sitting at the bar, waiting for a richer student to appear on the horizon. And the one who will agree to such a proposal is the one whose external data is not impressive, and for whom neither the rich nor the poor are in line.

Concluding this topic, one cannot help but say that communicating with Thai girls, despite the fact that they are children of a completely different civilization and most openly want to get money out of you, is not much different from communicating with girls in the vast expanses of our Motherland. Such is the paradox.

Common terminology and practice. Slang, overhead costs and escorting girls to hotels.

If you intend to take communication with local girls to a practical level, it’s a good idea to have some understanding of the terminology that is well-established in their circle and, in general, about the technical side of this entire entertainment process. First, there are a few words and phrases that you are likely to hear and the meaning of which is worth understanding:

Short Time– this term means that you are not going to take away more than 2 hours of the girl’s precious time.

Long Time- means that you are going to invite a girl for the whole night.

Bar Fine– girls work on the staff of bars, and you can’t just take them away from there; you need to pay compensation to the bar owners, at least 500 baht.

Mamasan(less often - Papasan) - the owner (owner) of the bar and at the same time the manager of the girls; it is mamasan who demands bar fine from you, and at the same time, forces you to buy beer or cola, at a price that you will not like.

Guest Fee– not only girls and bars want your money; many hotels also require money for permission to take a girl to the room; Usually this amount revolves around 500 baht.

Another interesting question that cannot be ignored concerns the escort of girls to the hotel. As a rule, Thai hotels are guest-friendly; exceptions to this rule are extremely rare, and apply only to particularly expensive and particularly respectable hotels. It is worth noting that if the hotel does not want guests to take girls, this will be communicated in such a way that it will be impossible to miss this information. For example, a poster with relevant content will be pasted on the door of your room.

As mentioned above, many (but not all) Thai hotels charge an additional fee for escorting girls to the room, usually the amount ranges from 500 baht. If you fly to Thailand on a tour package, then with a 90% probability you can expect that your hotel will be one of them. If you book a hotel yourself, then it’s not so difficult to choose a hotel where you can take girls for free. For example, to stay in those apartments where the reception is open only during the day, and in the evenings there is simply no one to take money from the guests.

In the same case, if you have reasons why you do not want to take a girl to your room (for example, you suspect that your wife is hiding there with a rolling pin), nothing will prevent you from resolving the issue with the hotel on the spot. There are countless hotels in the Bangla Road area with prices ranging from 800 to 1000 baht per night, and all these hotels are well known to girls. So you don’t even have to rack your brains over this problem: entrust the choice of hotel to a girl, and she will cope with this task normally.

The author of this set of photographs is Willy Thuan. These photos can be viewed in high resolution here: Phuket Nightlife.

Possible unpleasant consequences. Funny diseases and crime.

The pleasant, cheerful and life-affirming side of this matter was mentioned above; now it’s time to talk about the less pleasant side of the issue, about possible medical and criminal consequences, the likelihood of which is not zero.

You probably don’t need to write here about the fact that you should always use a condom, but what definitely needs to be written about is that a condom does not protect 100% from unpleasant consequences.

And in order to reduce the likelihood of such consequences to a minimum, you need to understand that all these funny diseases are not only medical, but also social in nature. In practice, this obvious fact is expressed in the fact that the likelihood of catching an infection from a girl working in an expensive and decent, by Thai standards, establishment is quite small. But in the case of a lady working on the street, in some dirty alley, it is very large.

Criminal hardcore, in the form of clonidine added to beer, is characteristic, perhaps, only of Pattaya. In Patong, the only thing you can expect from troubles of this kind is an unexpected loss of material assets, mystically connected with a girl visiting your room. As always happens in such cases, both parties are involved in the disappearance of money, mobile phones and laptops. Owners of material assets, dumbfounded by a meeting with another civilization, often do not realize obvious and banal things. For example, that you should not test the honesty of girls with a wad of dollars thrown to the mercy of fate in a desk drawer. What about the girls? What is the demand from them? Even ministers and deputies can easily covet ownerless material assets.

In fact, the probability of petty, and not very, theft is not so great, since a girl can go to great lengths only if she is 100% sure that she will not be found later. And if you met a girl in the bar where she works, finding her is as easy as shelling pears, just as if she left a copy of her documents at the hotel reception, such a copy is always made when paying the guest fee (fee charged by the hotel for escorting a local girl to her room).

From the above, one very simple and obvious conclusion can be drawn: do not chase the cheap. Girls working in establishments on Bangla Road want to get money that is not so stunning, by European standards, and an attempt to find cheaper options somewhere on the street can easily result in both medical and criminal consequences.

Transvestites, they are also catoi, they are also ladyboys. How to distinguish a trans woman from a straight woman.

This topic cannot be ignored, since the entire Internet is filled with funny (and not so funny) stories about encounters with these strange creatures. Reading these stories, it is not always possible to understand how their authors managed to get into such an anecdotal and, often, unpleasant situation.

The main reason for such adventures, however, lies on the surface and lies in the fact that at the time of their adventures the authors of all these countless stories were, to put it mildly, drunk.

Otherwise, they would never confuse a boy with a girl, since no amount of plastic surgery can turn a plowman, hunter and lumberjack into an elegant and defenseless creature, with a small hand, half the size of a man’s, and an equally small and graceful leg.

The physiological differences between trans girls and straight girls have been listed probably a thousand times already, but what has been written about quite rarely is that a trance (katoya) is very easy to distinguish from a real girl by their manner of behavior.

This difference in behavior lies in the fact that transvestites do not have innate feminine grace, and they play this grace the same way as actors play on stage. And since acting is a rare thing, they act lousy, constantly overact, look vulgar and overly cheeky, and the flaws in their mimicry are manifested in absolutely everything, and in the manner of speaking, and in the manner of dressing, and in the manner of walking, and in their style makeup, etc., etc., etc.

In general, when sober, distinguishing a tranny from a straight woman is not the slightest difficulty. However, if you take 3 liters of beer on your chest, and put 700 grams of vodka on top, then the line between a boy and a girl can indeed become very unsteady, and stories can happen that most then prefer not to tell.

P.S. If you are not sure who is in front of you, trans or straight, pay attention, in addition to demeanor, to height, shoe size and palm size, those physiological data that cannot be corrected with plastic surgery. And if your potential chosen one is not inferior to you in height, behaves excessively cheekily and wears size 44 shoes, think about how joyful your further communication with her will be for you;)

Other entertainment Bangla Road. Discos, go-go bars and massage parlors.

Discos. There are almost a dozen of them in the Bangla Road area, all of them are located in a prominent place, and these establishments are definitely worth a visit.

These discotheques are decorated with some flair, expensive acoustics are installed everywhere, the sound, as a result, is clear and powerful, the music is mostly in the spirit of MTV. These establishments open at 9–10 pm, but the influx of people in them usually occurs closer to midnight.

Patong discos are not very suitable for meeting Thai girls, at least dating at a disco is not mainstream for Patong.

Local girls, however, are present at discos, and are clearly divided into two categories: bar-girls, who sat unsuccessfully all evening in their bar and went on a further search for a source of wealth, and ordinary Thai girls who came to Phuket on vacation , and those who came to the disco just to relax and have fun. It is not always possible to distinguish the former from the latter, even with an experienced eye, and it is this fact that complicates getting to know local girls, since communicating with amateurs and professionals requires a different approach and a different vocabulary.

However, as a place to get acquainted, Patong discos have a slightly different advantage. These establishments are excellent for meeting compatriots, in case Thai girls have not made a strong enough impression on you. There are a lot of compatriots vacationing in Phuket, they all go to discos with pleasure, so there are always many options for this kind of dating.

Go-go bars. It’s impossible to write much about these establishments. Those go-go bars located on Bangla Road are an unfortunate parody of Pattaya establishments, and if you walk past them, you will lose absolutely nothing in your life.

Massage parlors. There is one Thai massage salon in Patong. This establishment is called Christin Massage, and is a huge pink building located on Second Road (Thanon Ratuthit Songroipi Road), south of its intersection with Bangla Road.

It should be noted that the golden years of Thai (non-health) massage are long behind us, and at the moment Thailand is too rich and prosperous a country for young and beautiful girls to agree to work in establishments like Christin Massage, which is essentially a job on the sex conveyor belt. In practice, the above is expressed in the fact that the ladies working at Christin Massage are frankly not young, and many of them are at such a respectable age that they are fit to babysit their grandchildren.

P.S. What was written above was relevant even ten years ago, and since there was no personnel rotation at Christin Massage, today we can state that the local priestesses of love have broken all records of professional longevity.

Bangla Road Nightlife Photos

To understand the attitude of Thais towards the behavior of girls who do not deny themselves the little joys of life, it is worth making a short historical excursion.

To begin with, it is worth saying that Thai society has never known taboos and prohibitions on sexual activity, the same taboos that are so characteristic of the Abrahamic religions.

The local religion, unlike the dominant religions in Europe, has always been liberal, tolerant and understanding of all aspects of human nature.

And gender relations in Thailand have always been regulated by the most general religious and ethical principle, namely: no matter what a person does, his actions should not harm other people.

And since the relationship between girls and their, as they now call, boyfriends, has always suited both parties, neither society, nor family, nor state and religious structures have ever interfered in these relationships.

It is worth adding that Thailand was spared both the dubious views of medieval Europe, which revered virginity with amazing zeal, and the ideas of European totalitarianism of the 20th century, which sought to control a person’s actions, including through control of his sexuality.

The same ideological ideas that were formed within Thai society itself are best conveyed by two very famous Thai words: “sanuk” and “sabai”. Without going into the subtleties of translation, the meaning of these words can be explained as follows: the sun is shining - sanuk, a beautiful girl is sitting next to it - sabay, good music is playing - sanuk, cold beer is flowing like a river - sabay, and so on, the list can be continued indefinitely.

In practice, the Thais’ love for sanuk and sabai has led to the fact that they have learned to masterfully extract pleasure from the current moment of life, and their liberal view of the world has led to the fact that they do not interfere with others’ enjoyment of life, and never interfere in someone else’s life. life if no one asks them to.

How everything that happens on Bangla Road looks in the eyes of the girls working there

The girls' view of their work is simple and unpretentious. Sitting in the bars of Bangla Road, they, paradoxically, are looking for their happiness.

What constitutes happiness in their understanding cannot be explained in a couple of paragraphs, but it is easy to explain what happiness in their understanding is not.

Firstly, happiness for them is not working in a 7/11 store with a salary of 8 - 10 thousand baht per month. Secondly, and maybe even firstly, happiness for them is not working in a rice field in their native province of Isan, a job in which at 30 you can become an old woman, and at 40 you can go on a date with Buddha .

In general, to put it bluntly, girls treat their work the same way they treat any other fairly well-paid job, which has both its pros and cons.

These disadvantages are quite obvious, but it is worth special mention about the advantages, since they will probably surprise many readers of this text. These advantages lie not so much in the fact that you can receive generous tips and live at a resort without any special worries, but in the fact that with this job you can most likely find yourself a rich husband. And it's not a joke.

Married couples consisting of a Thai and a foreigner (usually a European) are not uncommon in Thailand, and to understand the scale of this phenomenon, it is enough to say that in Isan province alone more than 100 thousand foreigners (read: non-poor Europeans) are registered on family visas. .

So, the story of the famous film “Pretty Woman”, starring Julia Roberts and Richard Gere, is not a fairy tale for girls sitting in the bars of Bangla Road. For them, this is a very real prospect for the development of events, especially if the girl is moderately smart, not absurd, and beautiful enough to arouse the interest of rich European playboys.

How good is the nightlife in Patong compared to the nightlife in Bangkok and Pattaya?

Both as a center of nightlife and as a center of sex tourism, Patong has never claimed first place in Thailand.

In truth, in the case of Patong, this third place could never be seriously considered a prize, since against the backdrop of Bangkok and Pattaya, Patong always looked like nothing more than the second league.

And this applied to all aspects of nightlife: the number, size and variety of entertainment venues; the number and external characteristics of local girls; and absolutely everything else.

So, the nightlife of Patong made a truly strong impression on tourists only in one case, if they had not yet seen the nightlife of Bangkok and Pattaya.

The above was true even many years ago, in the best years for Patong, which, sadly, are long gone. At the moment, Patong's nightlife establishments are half empty, and this is not due to the decline or collapse of the Thai entertainment industry, but to the fact that in recent years the contingent of people coming to the island of Phuket has changed greatly.

Young, active, and adventurous people are now avoiding Phuket, and are visited mainly by married couples over the age of 40, who come to Phuket on tourist packages. This public is not inclined to participate in nightlife, and if they appear on Bangla Road, it is only to look at everything that is happening from the outside, the way they look from the outside at the life of animals in the zoo.

As a result, the girls who worked in the bars of Bangla Road and Patong are leaving, the bars themselves are half empty, and at the moment (season 2019), Patong, unlike Bangkok and Pattaya, is already difficult to recommend as a place that is the standard of nightlife.

Finally, as I promised, I’m starting a series of posts about our trip to the kingdom of Thailand. It became our first trip to Asia. And if we take into account the fact that the last trip to Istanbul was a kind of transition bridge between Europe and Asia, then this trip became a completely logical continuation of getting to know Asia.

Now, after several weeks, I can say that I really miss this wonderful and hospitable country and would like to be there again, and maybe live for a while. There are amazingly positive and smiling people there, very friendly, you feel confident and at ease with them. I cannot remember a single unpleasant moment in dealing with Thais, a case of, say, deception or some kind of unfriendliness. And this is their pleasant gesture of thanksgiving, “wai,” when the palms are folded together in front of the chest and all this is accompanied by a bow. If only our cafes thanked their visitors the same way! Dreams Dreams.

I'll start with a story about Phuket.

01. We take the Aeroexpress to the airport. Not yet tanned, not rested, but we are already looking forward to a lot of interesting things ahead!

02. I wrote about purchasing these covers. There was an opportunity to “walk” them.

03. We flew at night, on this Boeing. I can say that it is much more comfortable to fly in the nose than in the tail. You hardly feel any turbulence. The only unpleasant moment is when those sitting in front, having much more space in front, also lean back and infringe on your already cramped space. This is something I have never understood and never will understand.

04. Arrived at Phuket airport. Several planes carrying our fellow citizens arrived with us at the same time, so one can imagine that the excitement at passport control was not bad. Plus, if we take into account the slowness of the Thai customs officers and the time spent filling out the migration card (Russians do not need a visa to Thailand), as well as the sleepless night and the Thai heat, we had a fun time, what can we say!

05. We finally got to the hotel. This is the view of the pool from the room.

06. This way you can better see the mountain on which the statue of the Big Buddha is installed (more on this later).

07. View of the room (I apologize for the unmade bed). Deluxe room (not khukhra mukhry), had everything you needed: air conditioning, safe, kettle, water, refrigerator, even a TV with 3 Russian channels.

08.

09. This photo was taken on one of the days when New Year was celebrated in Thailand, and a festive dinner was being prepared below. In general, I must say, there was no animation in the hotel. We have never swum in this pool (why, if the sea is nearby?). Once we went down for dinner (we only had breakfast included), ordered some fish, it was quite passable, but nothing more.

10. The road along which we went to the beach every time. The photo does not show the steep descent, but the road really goes down sharply, so getting up later was not an easy task.

11. The main entrance to our Peach Hill Resort hotel. The hotel is quite good, a good 4. The breakfasts, however, were rather meager, but we didn’t leave hungry. What my husband and I loved most about breakfast was local milk. It is tastier and sweeter than ours (apparently because of the Dutch cows that were once brought here). The hotel was actually located on a hill. Downstairs there is a Natalie Tours minibus, and we took the ticket from them.

12. Near the entrance to the hotel, as well as near many houses in Thailand, there is a House of Spirits, where Thais bring food, drink, flowers and ask the spirits for all sorts of benefits and indulgence.

13. We go to Kata beach, near which our hotel was located.

Here I would like to make a small lyrical digression and talk a little about Phuket.

Phuket is a small island, which one part is attached to the mainland. The province is also called (the whole of Thailand is divided into them). And unlike mainland Pattaya, where holidays may be cheaper, Phuket is cleaner, with less crowded beaches and a much more comfortable holiday. Phuket is washed by the waters of the Andaman Sea, which, in turn, flows into the Indian Ocean. It is a very green island, hilly.

I dare to give advice on choosing a hotel: it is better to choose a hotel based on the beach. The fact is that there are several beaches in Phuket, all of them are public, but they differ from each other. Actually, if you look at the map, all the beaches are located on one side and follow each other from north to south. First comes the largest beach, Patong. This is the most popular place, and therefore less clean. There are a huge number of bars, restaurants, nightclubs, and large shopping centers. Life is in full swing there. The cost of living in hotels located in Patong is cheaper compared to other beaches. Therefore, if you are more interested in an active party pastime, and comfort is not very important, then this is the place for you.

After Patong Beach comes Karon Beach. This beach has two main features: it has characteristic crunchy sand of coral origin and sometimes quite dangerous underwater currents. The beach is much cleaner than Patong, and is probably chosen more often than all other beaches.

Karon is followed by Kata Beach, where we actually rested. It is smaller than Patong and Karon, but therefore more comfortable and quieter. It is easily recognized by its picturesque island called “Pu” (crab in Thai). Behind Kata Beach is Kata Noi (“noi” means small in Thai). It is really quite small, and, according to some reports, quite boring in terms of infrastructure. Thus, our Kata beach seemed to me the most optimal, and I did not regret for a second that we chose it. Although in fact, the choice of beach is conditional: they are all located close to each other (with the possible exception of Patong).

14. Kata Beach with Pu Island.

15. I was pleasantly surprised by the color of the water, because... Previously, I vacationed mainly on the Mediterranean Sea, and there the color of the water is completely different. The water was very warm, which is not surprising, because the air temperature was 32-33 degrees, creating the feeling of a sauna, and it was easier to bear the heat near the water.

16. Sun beds and umbrellas on the beach are paid. 100 baht per sunbed (1 baht - approximately 1 ruble). The beach was quite clean, it was clear that it was being cleaned.

17. This island only added to the picturesqueness and created a feeling of comfort.

18.

19. As I wrote, there was no animation at the hotel, or even on the beach. We saw jet skis that were launched into the water, but the prices for them were somehow prohibitive, and people, in my opinion, did not rent them. The sea is the best entertainment!

20. One day we decided to go to the famous Patong beach, and at the same time see the famous Bangla Road, where the hottest spots in Phuket are located. I didn’t see anything so evil on her. No bright transvestites, no witchcraft “potions” offered from every corner. Boredom, in a word. True, knowledgeable people said that they should have come here in the evening, then they would have seen everything.

21. Bright design of buildings.

22. Poster about the celebration of the Thai New Year - Songkran, when, according to tradition, everyone pours water on each other. We celebrated this holiday at Pi-Pi-Don in the best traditions of the genre, but more on that later.

23. During the day, everything doesn’t look as bright and mysterious as in the evening. In addition, the intense heat and humidity forced us to seek shelter with air conditioning.

24. Like, for example, in this shopping center. Wires and methods of fastening them are an invariable attribute of Asian flavor.

25. A little decoration of the territory of our hotel. Lots of trees from mangoes to exotic palms.

26. In the morning we were woken up by the stunning trills of local birds and the chirping of either cicadas or some other insects. This concert will remain in my memory for a long time.

27.

28. Next to a massage parlor, the services of which we never used (massages in the city were much cheaper!).

29. Small pond next to the bungalow. We lived in the main building (upper). There were also bungalows and a lower building.

30. Bright colors, abundance of flowers, variety of vegetation - all this is about Thailand.

31.

32. Another House of Spirits, this time, near the lower building of our hotel.

33. I wish I knew all the names of flowers...

34. We went down to our street. Everything is simple, colorful: cafes, shops, massage parlors, souvenir shops, currency exchange offices and travel agencies - that’s basically all we came across on the streets.

35. On the left in the photo is the currency exchange office where we changed our hard-earned money. We were warned at the agency, and not only that it is better to take dollars to Thailand and then exchange them for local baht. In addition, it is better to take large bills with a face value of 50 dollars or more, then for some reason the exchange rate will be more favorable. All Thai money depicts the current king of Thailand, Rama IX, who is revered in Thailand almost as a saint.

Now a little about ways to get around the island. Phuket is a small island (only 50 km from north to south and approximately 21 km from west to east). The main and cheapest means of transportation there, as well as throughout Thailand, is a motorbike. You can rent it for an average of 2,000 baht per week and travel around the entire island. There are many cars, mostly Japanese, and they are more often used in the tourism business. Pickup trucks are popular, in which several people are loaded at once for ease of transportation. There is no such thing as public transport. We saw rare buses, but it was not clear how they ran, where the stops were, etc. For us, who did not have a license, the only way to get around was a regular taxi or local Thai tuk-tuk. Let me make a reservation right away that we didn’t even consider renting a motorbike, despite the fact that some companies turn a blind eye to the lack of rights and just rent them out. In addition, even on the bus upon arrival, the guides told all sorts of horror stories about crazy reckless Thais, about their unpredictability on the road, and in every possible way discouraged even those who knew how to drive and had a license. Therefore, we did not want to tempt fate, especially in a foreign country. In addition, we were told that in Thailand, if, say, an accident involving a Thai occurs and is not your fault, the police will still punish and fine you. This is such discrimination. You understand that after all this I somehow didn’t want to get on the bike.

As for the prices for taxis and tuk-tuks. I’ll say right away that almost all prices in Phuket, in principle, seemed overpriced to us. Moreover, in previous years, according to tourists, everything was much cheaper in Thailand. Bargaining is appropriate, but the same owners of local taxis (tuk-tuk) did not want to bargain and stubbornly insisted on their price. Let's say, from Kata Beach to Patong they asked for 400 baht. And the drive was about 15 minutes. So for that kind of money you won’t get much riding. Especially in the heat and without air conditioning, even in an open body. The reason for this is the local mafia, which holds prices and does not want to lower them. Farangs (that’s what they call us whites) will go like that! A taxi with air conditioning, by the way, is not much more expensive: 400 - 500 baht, how can you bargain. In general, it's cheaper to walk ;)

36.

37.

38.

39. Public transport - a bus that ran on an unclear schedule and with unknown stops.

40. Tanya saw a cat in the souvenir shop. And I envied him.

41. Massage parlors. Massage in Thailand is cheap, we paid a maximum of 400 baht (for an hour), and you could choose either legs separately, or the whole body (for example, Thai massage), or head and shoulders, etc. In all the salons (and we were in different ones each time) we really liked the massage; the Thais always treated us kindly and always offered something at the end: water or tea. After a whole day of righteous labor of rest, what could be better than giving your precious limbs to the dexterous and strong hands of local massage therapists, and even in cool salons? I miss this very much now!

42. Actually, the order of prices is visible on the right. Prices from 300 to 650 baht. These prices were everywhere. At the bottom left is an aquarium with fish, where you could put your feet and get an original pedicure. To be honest, I haven’t tried it.

43. One day we found an interesting cafe, and we often went there for grilled fish. The fish is the freshest, you choose it yourself, and then they cook it for you. A whole fish cost 300 baht. And it could well be enough for two.

44. Inside the restaurant. Everything is simple, but colorful.

45. Portraits of the royal family hung on one wall; by the way, there is an opinion or even statistics that houses in which portraits of the royal family hang are robbed less;)

46. ​​And the right wall is completely covered with money from various years of production and countries. They were completely outlandish or ancient. And many banknotes with a dedicatory inscription to the owners of the restaurant.

47.

48. There were also old Belarusian “bunnies”. I'm really tired of it :)

49. Who remembers the bison?

50. Remember the old Russian rubles?

51. This is the kind of fish they brought us.

52. Some more local landscapes.

53. Another restaurant. Almost everywhere the food was delicious, we mainly ordered fish and seafood, and the service was very fast. Tips are welcome! True, our guide said that leaving small change as a tip is not decent. Like, the Thais, of course, will take it, but it’s better to leave it at 50 baht and above.

54. In one of the souvenir shops. I really liked the cat with a fishing rod.

55.

56. And this was our very first cafe in Phuket. We came here for the first time, and then had lunch here on the last day before leaving.

57. Coconut shake. Delicious! Shredded coconut with coconut milk and ice. In the heat - just right!

58. The photos were taken on different days (the tablecloths are different;)), but I almost always ordered the Coconut Shake! This pleasure cost 80 baht.

59. Lobster with garlic and garlic bread. We ordered one for two, because the cost was steep. For example, in Cuba we paid about 10 dollars for a lobster, but here it cost us about 1,500 baht.

60. Traditional Thai Tom Yam soup with coconut milk with shrimp, vegetables and spices. If you ask for no spicy, they will bring you something that is not very spicy.

61. Another variation of Tom Yam, but in broth.

62. Baked bread with tuna meat. Served with hot sauce. (The sauce is nothing spicy, or maybe I come from the Fireeater tribe?)

63. Squid with garlic. My husband said it was rubber.

64. Rice with vegetables and egg. Also one of the traditional Thai dishes. I did not like. Maybe due to the presence of onions (I don’t like them).

65. And this is Thai paradise for me! Fruits! We tried almost everything, probably with the exception of the famous durian. We didn’t dare try it (in the photo it’s yellow and white in the package next to the pomelo). There will be a reason to come back! ;)

66. For me, the No. 1 fruit in Thailand is mango. I tried it for the first time (yellow and green in the photo below). It turns out there are different varieties of mangoes! At first, the green fruit seemed sweeter and juicier to me, but then I chose soft yellow fruits, already well ripened, and they seemed simply incredibly tasty to me! I also liked the mangosteens (they are below next to the green mango like cream). Under the hard burgundy skin are white segments with a sweet taste. One of the most expensive fruits and very healthy! Pomelo also pleasantly surprised us. In Thailand they are huge, green, incredibly juicy and sweet. Watermelons are also good, we also tried dragon fruit (pitaya) - it is raspberry in color, the pulp contains many black seeds. The taste is unsaturated, slightly sweet, but this fruit stimulates blood circulation and is useful for diseases of the cardiovascular system. I'm not even talking about such exotic fruits as longan, herring, chompu, carambola... The list could take a long time :) Almost all fruits are tasty and healthy. If you don’t have any allergies, then you can try everything in moderation!

67. And we called this restaurant “Paphos” among ourselves :) It really looked more like a palace, both inside and outside. At first they didn’t dare to go there, but then they went anyway. Not mind blowing, but quite edible.

68. It was Kostya who ordered the crab. There is little to eat, but the meat turned out to be tender.

69. There was a Starbucks next to Paphos. And although I told myself that I would not succumb to the corrupting influence of the West and drink coffee in Thailand, one day I still couldn’t stand it. I ordered a caramel macchiato. And she flew away... I have never drank such delicious coffee anywhere! Either their milk is so tasty and rich, or they don’t skimp on ingredients, but when we returned to Moscow and decided to drink a macchiato at the local Starbucks, we were very disappointed with both the price and the quality of the drink. It wasn't nearby! And the desserts seemed more interesting to me. That’s it, I want but I can’t go to Thailand again!

70. Check out the size! Okay, we took this mug for two!

71. On one of the last days of my stay in Phuket, I decided to photograph the sunset and brought my own camera specially. By the way, we went to the beach either before 12 noon or after 16.00, because... at other times it was simply impossible to be there. Even in the shadows you burn. Even though I applied myself actively, I still got quite burnt in the first days, then I saved myself with aloe vera ointment. By the way, great stuff!

72. This is not a pineapple! These are the fruits of the walking tree, the fruits of which animals feed on.

73. Walking tree. Over time, the tree grows “legs” and can move.

74. Our beach.

75.

76. Someone decided to fly. There is little pleasure, because... you fly for just a couple of minutes and with an instructor.

77.

78. The sunset has begun.

79. We were told that swimming in the evening is quite dangerous. There is an unspoken law: day is for people, night is for animals, etc. Poisonous animals, fish or snakes wake up at night, so it’s better not to take risks. One way or another, during all this time I have not met either a snake or a spider in Thailand. Lizards don't count.

80.

81.

82.

83. The sun is setting quickly. At seven o'clock it gets dark. Thais walk along the beach, renting sunbeds, and close their umbrellas.

84.

85. Now looking at this photo, I can’t believe that all this happened to us!

In fact, it would be more correct to call Phuket a peninsula, since it is connected to the mainland by a wide bridge 500 meters long. You can easily cross it, so there is no ferry service.

Thais do not pronounce the letter “h” (or rather, it is an aspirated sound) and in the local language the island is called Phuket, which means “hill”. This name is no coincidence - the island of Phuket really looks like a hill from afar and there are a lot of hills (a large number of observation platforms located at an altitude of 200-300 meters above sea level). The highest point of the island is Mai Thao Sip Song - 529 m.

In Phuket you will find everything you have dreamed of for so long: sandy beaches, warm sea at any time of the year, gentle sun, palm trees on the shore and picturesque nature. And this is combined with a well-developed infrastructure (it is considered the best of all the islands of Southeast Asia): numerous hotels for every taste and budget, restaurants, bars, huge shopping centers, souvenir shops, food and clothing markets, banks, nightclubs, discos, entertainment venues for adults.

Holidays in Phuket are very different from what Pattaya offers. The island can be described as follows: it is Pattaya with a clear sea, wide beaches and numerous green oases. It has everything that Pattaya is famous for: Go Go bars and various shows for adults, massage parlors and hypermarkets. The only negative is that it is a little higher (this mainly concerns the cost of travel in a tuk-tuk taxi and rental housing near the beaches).

The island of Phuket has an international airport that accepts. This makes the tours even more attractive, since there is no need for long transfers to the hotel - an hour or two after landing you are already swimming in the sea and sunbathing. But it’s not so easy to get to other islands and resorts in Thailand - even to Pattaya you’ll have to spend two hours on a bus, and to the rest it will take several times longer (and more expensive).

Phuket Island on the map of Thailand and the world

Story

The history of Phuket is very long, since the island used to be a transit point for ships from India and China. During the Ayutthaya and Sukhothai period of Thai history, it was a principality that was subordinate to Ayutthaya and Sukhothai. The main settlement was in the north and was called Talang. It still exists and it is there that the most ancient attractions of the island are located.

Since the second half of the 16th century, the history of Phuket has been associated with Europeans. The Dutch founded enterprises for the extraction of tin, which was abundant. Then the French, Portuguese and British came here for the same purpose.

In 1785, the island was attacked by the Burmese. The invaders were repelled by troops gathered by two sisters Than Phuying Chan and Khun Muk. After the victory, they were given the names Thau Thep Krasattri and Thau Si Sunthon and erected a monument that can still be seen today.

In the 19th century Phuket's history is inextricably linked with the Chinese who came here to work in the tin mines. The main settlement was the city of Phuket Town in the southeast. The Chinese built houses and temples, many of which still exist today.

In the second half of the 20th century, the tourism business began to develop, especially on Patong Beach (read -). Currently, Phuket, along with Pattaya, is the most popular holiday destination, including among Russian tourists.

Tours to Phuket

Today, the best prices for 4* and 5* hotel complexes in Phuket are offered (for the Russian Federation - Anex Tour, Tui, Biblio Globus, Pegasus, Tez-tour). That is, if you want a hotel holiday, then in most cases it is more profitable to buy a package tour.

It is best to go to Phuket as a package tour in the following cases:

1. If you plan to be on the hotel premises most of the time.

For most of your vacation, you plan to swim, lie on a sun lounger, eat, take part in animation, and attend spa treatments. In this case, you do not need to choose several hotels for your trip, you only need one, but the best one for your money. If you want to live in several places, then this will be an individual tour, and it is more profitable to fly on your own.

2. If you are traveling with children and teenagers.

Variety of food, in good hotels there is a separate children's table. Children's animation and peers with whom it will be interesting and fun.

3. If you want quality service for your money.

Almost direct dependence on price. The more prestigious and expensive the hotel, the higher the quality and variety of services, the more interesting the territory and food.

4. If you live in a region from which there are no regular flights.

If you live far from major airports, then the choice of air travel is limited. Even if there are any regular flights, they may have transfers. In this case, it is easier to buy a package tour, which already includes air tickets for a direct charter, which are usually not found on free sale.

5. If you want to save money.

Due to large sales volumes during the season, tour operator prices are generally lower than if you buy all parts of the tour separately. Yes, we must admit, these parts are not always of the best quality (charter, insurance, general transfer), but for most tourists everything is determined by the price.

What does a trip to Phuket include?

Usually a tourist package includes:

Everything has already been taken care of for you, there is no need to buy anything separately.

Where to buy tickets

First of all, tours to Phuket can be purchased at travel agencies. Usually the employees there are well versed in the current market situation. But like all sellers, they are interested in selling certain tours because tour operators can offer higher commissions. Those. You should be wary of particularly active imposition of a specific hotel and tour operator.

If you know what exactly you want, know how to use the Internet and find truthful reviews, then you can book a tour to Phuket on your own on the tour operator’s website.

It’s even more profitable to do this on the websites Travelata and Level.Travel (Misto.Travel for Ukraine), since there you can compare the prices of all tour operators at once. Very simple and convenient sites, booking is possible in 5 minutes, unlike most tour operator sites. An additional benefit is that there is a bonus system for repeat purchases, and discounts are also offered from time to time.

How to get to Phuket

You can buy air tickets to Thailand as profitably as possible using special search engines that collect data from all airlines.

Transport from the airport

1. Minibuses.

They go only to popular beaches: Patong, Kalim, Kata, Kata Noi and Karon. For an additional fee, by agreement, they will take you to the southernmost ones - Nai Harn and Rawai (they are located 10-15 minutes drive from Kata). A minivan is another matter. To Patong it costs 150 baht per person, but when traveling on it there are several nuances described above. Thus, it is more profitable for a large company to take a taxi.

2. Buses.

Transport

1. Airport.

Located in the north of Phuket, it receives international flights, including direct ones from Russia. Serves a large number of destinations, including within Thailand, from here you can get to Bangkok, Chiang Mai, Pattaya, and Samui.

2. Piers.

There are several piers in Phuket: from which you can go to neighboring islands. In most cases, there is no point in coming directly there, since travel agencies’ tickets include transfer from the hotel to the required pier. Often it is even cheaper.

3. Public transport.

4. Taxi.

Tuk-Tuk taxis are quite expensive here, but the distances are not short. The neighboring beach (3-5 km) can be reached for 200-300 baht.

Air-conditioned taxis with a meter are still rarely seen on the streets. They are usually used for traveling from/to the airport. For example, you can order them at a hotel, when leaving the airport, or. They don't go by the meter.

The popular transport in Phuket is a motorcycle taxi, that is, a ride on the back seat of a motorcycle. 3-5 km costs 50-60 baht.

5. Vehicle rental.

If you wish, you can (from 800 baht per day) or (from 250 baht) explore the island on your own. costs 2-3 baht more than in Bangkok.

There are no bike rentals, which is not surprising, since the distances are long and the terrain is mountainous in most places.

Who should go

Phuket is perfect for those who want to get a complete picture of the country. Since it is very large, you will see all facets of Thailand in different parts of the island: untouched nature and waterfalls in the National Park, noisy beaches with vibrant nightlife and calm beaches with its complete absence, numerous temples, parks, observation decks, markets, large shopping centers.

Phuket is quite an expensive place in terms of housing and transport. However, if you wish, you can also find modest, inexpensive corners here and travel not by tuk-tuks, but by city songthaew buses. The island is an excellent place for long-term living, since monthly rent is relatively cheap and you can choose a vacation to your liking every day: go to a party or quiet beach without many tourists, visit a temple or waterfall, climb to observation decks or go shopping and shopping centers.

Advantages and disadvantages of rest

pros

1. There are direct flights to Phuket from major Russian cities. This is a big advantage, both in terms of time and money. You will not have to make a long and tedious transfer from the airport to the hotel or make an additional transfer to the plane that will take you to the resort (and this is often necessary, for example, to get to Koh Samui and other islands). The journey from Phuket Airport to the beaches takes from 10 to 50 minutes, depending on their location. Imagine - you have just arrived, and within an hour you are swimming in the sea! The cost of a minibus ride to the hotel is 100-200 baht. And to Samui you would have to wait two or three hours for a local flight, and then also go to the hotel (standard price - 500 baht for a taxi). Pattaya is a little easier - only 2 hours by bus.

2. Phuket has the most developed tourist infrastructure among all the islands of Southeast Asia. Here you will find all the amenities. There are no power outages in the hotels (this is quite possible on some islands), there is Internet access everywhere, there are many large shopping centers for shopping, massage parlors, and attractions. On the beaches there are sun loungers and parasols. For gourmets there is a large selection of restaurants with both local cuisine and dishes from other countries of the world.

3. In terms of entertainment options, Phuket is second only to Bangkok (in terms of the number of bars with girls, Pattaya is also second). Everything that Thailand has to offer is available here: shows with monkeys, elephants, crocodiles and snakes, Thai boxing, elephant riding, rafting, water sports, all kinds of performances and much more. Nightlife lovers will appreciate Soi Bangla Road in Patong - this is a slightly smaller copy of Walking Street in Pattaya. The main hot spots in Phuket are located here, with many bars, both regular and Go Go. For children (and not only) the island also has an amusement park, a butterfly garden, etc. In a word, you definitely won’t be bored!

4. Phuket has many corners with untouched nature; mountain landscapes amaze with their beauty and grandeur. You won’t find this in Pattaya or Bangkok, where almost everything is built up with hotels and shops. In Phuket, you can relax your soul from the fast rhythm of the cities, and on some uncrowded beaches you can wander along the coast in complete solitude, enjoying the silence and harmony with nature.

5. The resort is universal. Absolutely all categories of tourists will find a place here. For those who want nightlife, you are welcome to Patong, for shopping - here, as well as in Phuket Town. Kata, Karon and Kamala are suitable for married couples with children, and Nai Harn is suitable for snorkeling lovers. Those who crave tranquility will find it on the northwestern beaches. For romantics and lovers, there are restaurants on the Rawai coast, as well as an observation deck nearby (there is no better place to watch the sunset).

6. Beaches are another reason to visit Phuket. They are much cleaner and wider here than in Pattaya, some of which you can even snorkel. Since the island is the largest in Thailand (the west coast alone stretches for 50 km), the choice of beaches is very large.

7. There are a lot of attractions in Phuket, and several are very special (for example, buildings of past eras in the capital, made in the Chinese-Portuguese style). The Big Buddha on one of the peaks looks majestic, Wat Chalong has a rich history, and the National Park is full of wildlife, waterfalls, animals and birds.

8. From Phuket it is very easy to get to all the popular resorts of the Andaman Sea. Just 2-3 hours and you are already in Krabi, Phi Phi, Lanta or Koh Yao. The cost of a trip by public transport is simply ridiculous - 120 baht to Krabi, 220 baht to Lanta (and this includes a ferry ticket). You can get to Samui in 7 hours (this pleasure costs 450 baht with ferry). For comparison, it takes 16 hours to get there from Pattaya and Bangkok.

9. Extend your visa for a month - 1300 baht, while in Pattaya it will cost from 1800 baht.

Minuses

1. Phuket is the most expensive resort in Thailand.

Air tickets, transport and hotels near the beaches are not cheap, although prices are lower than in Russia. However, here you can also find good guesthouses far from the coast for 400-500 baht per day. Rental housing per month is about 1000 baht more expensive than in Pattaya. But a trip to the neighboring beach can cost 200 baht. It’s cheaper to rent a motorbike and spend the money driving around the island all day.

2. Pronounced rainy season.

During the rainy season from June to October, there are strong waves at sea, which make swimming difficult and make water activities impossible (unless you are a windsurfer, of course).

Fortunately, this does not happen on all beaches. In addition, strong underwater currents pose a danger. In such places, warning signs are placed and it is better not to enter the water here (or swim near the shore, where you are waist deep). During the rainy season, the rainfall is significantly higher than in Pattaya.

3. Far from the main attractions of Thailand.

Distance from the main attractions of Thailand, located in Bangkok, Ayutthaya and the northern provinces. The distance to the capital of the country is about 900 km and the entire journey by bus takes 13 hours. You can fly by plane in 1 hour, but you will spend 2,000 baht more than by land.

What to do and what to visit

If you have never been to Thailand, then it is best to start getting acquainted with it from Phuket, since the whole country is presented here in miniature, all its facets: picturesque nature, clean beaches, beautiful views, national reserves, villages and neighborhoods of local residents, uninhabited islands nearby, comfortable hotels, large shopping centers, numerous attractions and temples, massage parlors, great opportunities for daytime and nighttime entertainment - in short, everything that Thailand has to offer at present. Its main competitor Pattaya will not be able to give you as many impressions as Phuket (unless, of course, you are a sex tourist).

Observation platforms. Since the island has many high hills, there are also plenty of viewpoints. The main five are: Big Buddha; Promthep Cape near Nai Harn Beach; observation deck between Kata and Nai Han beaches; at Cape Panwa (near the Aquarium) and on Rang Hill in Phuket Town.

Phuket Island will not be a disappointment for shopping lovers. We will especially highlight the two largest ones - in Patong and Phuket Town.

Inexpensive clothes, shoes and souvenirs, fruits and Thai food can be bought at the night market (weekend market), located near Big Sea in Phuket Town and open from Friday to Sunday from 16:00 to 22:00.

All nightlife in one place, located in the center of Patong

Flaws

Intrusive barkers and salesmen, noisy, drinks in bars are more expensive

Details

Usually in tourist countries, each locality tries to offer something of its own in order to attract tourists, but not in Thailand. Of course, we can say that continental and island holidays here are somewhat different (although this depends on the tourist himself and his goals for staying in the country of smiles, elephants and transvestites), but in Phuket, for example, everything is offered the same as in continental part: they made their own farms of elephants and crocodiles and snakes, their own botanical garden (a smaller version of Nong Nooch), their own transvestite shows, and so on. Since Patong is a small Pattaya, it is logical to assume that Bangla Road is a small Walking Street. In general, everything is really the same, specifically for foreigners, but a little simpler and smaller in area.

During the day, Bangla is an ordinary street past which a regular bus passes to Phuket Town, along which bikes, cars, tuk-tuks and taxis drive, but closer to eight o’clock in the evening it is blocked, it becomes completely pedestrian, filled with tourists, barkers and lights .

Around 9 o'clock the concentration of people reaches its peak; barkers from go-go bars and transvestites from the Moulen Rose show in concert costumes come out onto the street.

The girls diligently hide from the cameras, but willingly take pictures with tourists... not for free, of course. However, if at a cabaret show they ask you for 200 baht, then here it’s only 100. I even managed to persuade one beauty for half a ton, so the bargaining turned out to be quite appropriate if you want a photo in which you will clearly be a kind of “ugly girlfriend”.

Actually, the entire Bangla Road consists of bars; there are a huge number of them here for every taste, color and budget. But it’s worth considering that if in Australian bars in Patong or just in an ordinary cafe you can get an alcoholic cocktail for 70-90 baht, then here you won’t be able to spend less than 100-120. The cheapest option is beer for 80 baht, twice as expensive as in the store.

The most interesting and famous bar is Tiger; it is notable for its design: huge tigers and a sign that is impossible not to notice. The bar consists of many counters, around which bar stools are placed, but this is not an option for “sit and chat”; the music here is loud so that you can’t hear either the bartender or your interlocutor.

Since there is not much evening entertainment in Patong, in a couple of weeks we were on Bangla Road 5 times, the last time I came to the realization that there are always the same people here, and indeed this street is like something out of “Groundhog Day”: in a certain place, a certain Thai man will offer you a suit and thrust a piece of paper with the address, two steps further a plump Cambodian woman will insist that you watch a ping-pong show, a little further some Laotian will come up to you with a sign on which is a list of what is happening at the sex show and will shout “no sex”.

By the way, about the ping-pong show: you can take a tour to it from a travel agency, it usually costs a thousand baht, an independent visit will be much cheaper, since admission to such an establishment is free, and it receives income due to the inflated prices for drinks (in an average drink, be it beer or juice, will cost you 500-600 baht). The downside for you is that you need to buy a drink, plus the performance lasts an hour, and you can sit as long as you like with one drink, if you like the spectacle of balls flying out of your genitals, frogs crawling out, and other things from the same opera. As usual, I conducted an experiment: for myself, I determined the maximum cost of such entertainment at 300 baht (after all, there are two of us, and 600 baht is not a thousand, the savings are dinner for two) and tried to find out if it was possible to get a discount. It turned out that this was real, reluctantly and not right away, but in the end the girl ran up to us and said that the establishment was empty, so we would agree to 300.

Since tourists here are either already tipsy or looking for somewhere to drink, efficient merchants in Bangla smartly offer all sorts of nonsense at exorbitant prices. Basically these are all sorts of headbands, flower beads, bracelets, local pipes, spinning and glowing pinwheels, etc.

Oddly enough, people also come to Banglo Road with children. At first I was a little surprised, but then I realized that if you don’t turn into jays, then there are practically no hot spots on the street itself, the only caveat is an incomprehensible establishment with Russian beauties “Moulin Rouge”.

This is a strip club and a brothel rolled into one. In the display window on the second floor, a lethargic and not very attractive girl periodically walks around a pole, apparently in this way trying to invite someone to the establishment. To be honest, looking at this tetanus coma at the pylon, I had the feeling that apparently the striptease there was very slow and dull: an hour would pass, and Madame would still be in her sheepskin coat, and with a sour expression.

All the “grass” such as go-go bars and the already mentioned sex shows are located in the jay streets leaving Bangla, but there are also simply quieter and calmer bars.

Sometimes Thai “amateur” performances take place right on the street; for example, a guy danced with two dolls attached to him to “Gangam Style” and gathered a whole crowd around him.

In general, all the entertainment here is numerous bars, one brothel (and that one with Slavic girls), ping-pong shows and walking back and forth to blaring music and screams of barkers who every now and then run up to you to offer their establishment or goods. . It may be interesting to watch 1-2 times simply because of the atmosphere of general fun and relaxation, but in reality there is nothing remarkable or interesting; Russian tourists still suffer due to the lack of decent clubs here.